Bundle of Waiting and Hoping

We're just over here waiting on the new grandbaby to breathe his first breath. I worked ahead last week and tried to be smart in every way. I wrote & scheduled an “emergency weekly email” in case anything happened this past weekend and nothing happened... here it is Tuesday at noon and we’re still in the waiting. Waiting on God’s perfect timing. And I am convicted that I should put effort into this email instead of just sending out the basic emergency one. So, here I am. Putting effort. 

I read Proverbs 30, Psalm 30 and couldn’t stop my mind from making lists and daydreaming about this newborn life about to be. I turned over to Psalm 130 and was reminded of the great truths I’d seen there before: 

 

“Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!  O Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy! If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared. I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning. O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption.And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.” Psalm 130

 

And then I kept reading: “O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul,  like a weaned child with its mother;   like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore.” Psalm 131

 

It takes me longer to “get there” most days and today was no exception. My heart finally began to melt and I was able to bring all my fears before the Lord in one big bundle. It was a big surrender. A deliberate surrender. And He heard all of it and assured me that He would be with me (with US) through it all – in the waiting, in the wondering, in the delivery, in all the details, in the first cries, in the long nights, in the days to come, in the generous addition to our family... and He reminded me of all the times He’d been with us before. How very grateful I am that He longs to walk with us in this life and that He is so very patient, good and kind. Take a moment and ask the Lord to show you if there’s a bundle you have been holding tight to no matter the size. Show it to Him. Give it to Him. 

 

Songs of Encouragement in the Waiting:

Goodness of God 

While I’m Waiting 

Take Courage 

Right Here Waiting <-- had to thrown in for fun!

*Taken from LIFT weekly email.

The Clock Won't Stop!

 We’ve been on a journey of lasts for our Pastor Rick & Marie Baldwin at The Harbor as of late. Last Staff Prayer, last Staff Breakfast, last day in the office, last walk down the hall, last Sunday... ugh! I’ll be quick to admit I didn’t want to see them retire. I wanted to stay and soak in chapter one with them for...ever! It was comfortable. It was pleasant. I liked it. But, the sun kept rising and setting and the clocks kept ticking. 

Monday morning came and we were hastily greeted with his desk being wheeled out of his office... He is officially retired. Sunday, he was able to share his final thoughts and walk us as a church through turning the page to the next chapter and the new pastor (watch HERE). 

 

Thank you to all who took the time to write letters for Pastor Rick & Marie to honor their faithfulness and obedience to launch LIFT in 2015. If you’re still working on it – that’s ok. They’ve got an entire basket full to read. I think if you get them to us before or at the LIFT Celebration on October 1^st – we’ll have plenty time to add them to their giant basket of letters.

 

Tomorrow our oldest grandson starts Kindergarten. How did we get here? Now, as he begins school tomorrow we are waiting on a new grandson’s birth (in the next couple weeks). Time is marching on. And God is giving such good, good gifts.

 

From retirement to Kindergarten and even awaiting a new birth – He has been good. In all my mess He has been merciful. In all my kicking and screaming He has been kind. “How kind the Lord is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours!” Psalm 116:5 

What about you? Where has He shown up in your life lately? Take a moment and thank Him, invite Him, cry out to Him.

 

Listen to Chris’ message from 2 weeks ago in James 1:26-27 HERE

*Taken from LIFT weekly email.

Dare to be a Daniel (& a Darius!)

 “I'm not a warrior. I'm too afraid to lose. I feel unqualified for what you're calling me to do. But Lord, with your strength, I've got no excuse. Because broken people are exactly who you use!” 

On my quest for reading my Jesus Storybook Bible (JSB) I’m in Daniel 6 where King Darius was pleased to set three high officials over the kingdom, of whom Daniel was his favored one. Daniel and the others were there “so that the king might suffer no loss.” 

“...An excellent spirit was in him. And the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom.” ESV

“But the other helpers didn’t like this. They wanted the king to like them best. They wanted to get rid of Daniel.” JSB

“Then these others said, “We shall not find any ground for complaint against this Daniel unless we find it in connection with the Law of his God.” ESV

“So they spied on Daniel. They tried to find things wrong with Daniel, things they could tell the king... They couldn’t find anything at all... Except there was just the one thing...” 

Daniel faithfully prayed to God three times a day.

“They smiled to themselves... they were pleased with themselves for being so clever...”  

They convinced King Darius to make into a law that “Everyone must pray – only to ME! If you don’t, the lions will have you for their dinner!” JSB

Most of us know what Daniel did. He continued praying to God just as he’d been doing... putting himself on the lion’s dinner menu. I don’t know how much courage it must’ve taken for Daniel to do this. I can only imagine. Only imagine.

When the others brought this to King Darius’ attention “he was much distressed and set his mind to deliver Daniel. And he labored until the sun went down to rescue him.” 

The others reminded him “that no injunction or ordinance that the king establishes can be changed.”

“May your God, who you love so much, rescue you!” the king said. The king went back to his palace, but he didn’t sleep that night. Not a wink. He tossed and turned...” JSB

“...the king went to his palace and spent the night fasting; no diversions were brought to him, and sleep fled from him.” ESV

Commercial break. Can you even imagine that night in the dark den? I would love to be a fly on the wall – up high... maybe on the ceiling... The king tossed and turned in his palace... The king was tormented with what he’d unknowingly set into law. What must have gone through Daniel’s mind and heart before the sun came up let alone before it ever sat? Did he hear them roar before the angel shut their mouths? Did they circle around him? Did they fight each other to tear him apart? Now, back to the king:

“...until finally, at the first glimmer of dawn, he leaped out of bed and ran straight to the den, “Daniel?” he cried, “Has your God rescued you?” YES!” Daniel shouted, “God sent an angel to close the lions’ mouths!”

The king made a new law: “Daniels’ God is the true God. The God Who Rescues! Pray to him instead!”

God would keep on rescuing his people. And the time was coming when God would send another brave Hero, like Daniel, who would love God and do what God said – whatever it cost him, even if it meant he would die. And together they would pull off the Greatest Rescue the world has ever known.” JSB

“Then King Darius wrote to all the peoples, nations, and languages that dwell in all the earth: “Peace be multiplied to you. I make a decree, that in all my royal dominion people are to tremble and fear before the God of Daniel, for he is the living God, enduring forever; his kingdom shall never be destroyed, and his dominion shall be to the end. He delivers and rescues; he works signs and wonders in heaven and on earth, he who has saved Daniel from the power of the lions.” ESV

Once again, I was able to invest an extra amount of time in His Word and at His feet. He met me there. I have so much compassion for King Darius. He was tricked. He didn’t know. He was tormented. The king couldn’t rescue Daniel from the law he’d put into place – God did! I am reminded that I must put my trust in God alone, nothing and no one else once again.

In case you haven’t noticed I’ve been cowering in a dark den this entire year. Thanks for walking beside me! I’ve tried going back to the basics of my faith to find help. I’ve searched for facts to help me check the foundation. I know I’ve “risked the ocean” in my faith in the past, but I couldn’t find that courage in my new 2022, I just keep forgetting. It’s in this space that I find reminders that He is in control. He delivers. He rescues. He meets me where I am – even in those dark corners and delivers me. He saved Daniel from the power of the lions and He is saving me from the den I’ve found myself in. 

“So, give me faith like Daniel in the lion's den. 
Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness. 
Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense. 
So, I can face my giants with confidence”
“Confidence” by Sanctus Real

 

THREE SONGS TO CONSIDER IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR ENCOURAGEMENT

“Confidence” by Sanctus Real 

Matt Redman’s You Alone Can Rescue 

“LIONS” by Lost & Found - Fun one!

Not Looking Forward to the 2nd Chapter

Chris challenged us deeply from the book of James. Specifically chapter 1, verses 22-25. He shared that A. W. Tozer said, “No man is better for knowing that God so loved the world of men that He gave His only begotten Son to die for their redemption. In hell there are millions who know that. Theological truth is useless unless it is obeyed. The purpose behind all doctrine is to secure moral action.”

He challenged us with these points:

-The intake of God’s Word is not enough.

-Our intake of the Word must lead to obedience.

-Only knowing and obeying (or doing) brings true freedom.

Be doers, not just hearers! Listen to the teaching HERE.  

Yesterday I was a literal mess. (Okay... probably more like yesterday times 100). I fight myself, God, and the world for control. I want to see the last page of the book before the second chapter even begins and know how it’s gonna end... even though I know how it ultimately ends! As I tried to reel my mess in... my fears, my emotions, chaos in my heart and mind... I began in Psalm 25 and was immediately greeted with “In you, O LORD, I lift up my soul. O my God, in You I trust... Make me to know Your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths. Lead me to Your truth and teach me; for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day long...  My eyes are ever toward the LORD... The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses... Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me... for I take refuge in You... for I wait for You...”

 

In You I trust. Do I truly? That’s been my theme of 2022... My eyes are ever toward the LORD. Are they? Ever is a big word! The troubles of my heart are enlarged. Check. For sure. There’s a magnifying glass that keeps getting stuck between my eyes and my troubles...

 

And then Proverbs poured it on as well, but it began to feel more like a soothing than an irritation: “It is the glory of God to conceal things... do not hastily bring into court... ...with patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone... a man without self-control, is like a city broken into and left without walls.”

 

Maybe this is exactly what I needed to hear... It is the glory of God to conceal things and a man without self-control, is like a city broken into and left without walls... because those reminders felt like Vaseline on chapped lips...“the healing power.” 

 

I don’t know exactly why, but I dove in to Colossians chapter one: “...asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,  so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.  He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins... He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross.”

 

I so very much long to be fully pleasing to Him. I long to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord. Yesterday I needed to be reminded that peace only came through His cross and His blood. I needed to get there... to confess, to be stilled, held, repentant, redeemed and reminded that He is I AM, I am not. That is good and it feels good. 

*Taken from LIFT Weekly email.

Meeting Me in My Mess

 Last week I shared what a mess I’d found myself in. And bless your hearts all who read along! As the week unfolded I realized how very gently the Lord was holding me close even in my mess. Much closer it felt than usual. Our son and his family got me the latest Ann Voskamp book for my birthday. I’ve never read her. But, almost everyone else I know has! Her bestselling book “One Thousand Gifts” spent something like 67+ weeks on the NY Times Bestsellers list. In the last 7 days I’ve read the entire book. And with every word and every page I consumed and felt every word. I’m going to share with you some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“We may think we know what we want, but what we really want is to be known.”

 

“Why do we think that our life will be the one that finds a way to easier roads? Why in the world did I? It’s when we expect life to be easy that it becomes hard.”

 

“...suffering is the universal experience of all humanity. Suffering doesn’t mean you’re cursed; suffering means you’re human. The question isn’t “Why is there suffering in my life?” but “Why wouldn’t there be suffering?” Because such is life in a broken world. The question is “What way will you bear your suffering?” I didn’t know it then, and I am still learning this now: Life is really hard because that is the reality of being alive. Life is hard in a thousand ways, and what comes the easiest to us is getting lost.”

 

“Life is never made unbearable by the road itself but by the way we bear the road. It’s not the hard roads that slay us; what actually slays us is the expectation that this road isn’t what we hoped it to be.” 

 

“But here’s what no one tells you: When you hide who you are, what you ultimately are hiding from is yourself.”

 

And that’s just chapter one...

 

“...Keep burying how you feel and you'll end up digging your relationships a pretty big grave. If you don’t speak your fears and questions aloud, they only grow louder in your soul.” 

 

“But there’s Moses standing still, attentive to God, arms stretched out cruciform—and God, in a tempest of love, with a blast of His nostrils, splits the sea in two to make a way out of bondage and into bonding, and the people of God reject the notion of drowning in fear, the paralysis of questioning, the bitterness of feeling abandoned, and they walk one fierce faithing step after the other, deep faith calling for deep waters, and you only find a way through waves when your faith, your trust, your relying, isn’t as fickle as waves but is in the Way Himself.” 

I’m so very thankful for how the Lord so gently met me in my mess. And how sweetly He loved me regardless of it. I’m thankful for time away this weekend to re-unite with our Living Hope family in DFW, to gain & give encouragement and for a long Sunday afternoon nap (a rare thing for me). And I’m excited that we will meet together in person this week!!