A Long Silence... Broken

Well, I've been neglecting to write any blogs this time around because I have basically been wallowing in self-pity. It wasn't until our Christmas break when we were in the US that I realized how many people read and took to heart what we wrote about it. It was also during Christmas break that I realized how incredibly spoiled I am and we are. It sparked a raging fire in my soul that I've just barely been able to define and get under control. I think it's because I have one foot in this world (Haiti) and one foot in your world (US) and the rest of my body most days just wishing for heaven. My heart has been stretched too far and too thin (the opposite of deep and wide).

From this mountain top we hear cricket/locust like noises all day every day. The kind of noises that make the middle of your shoulders tense up. Ask Brynna. She's heard them via Facetime and asked what it was. I think I get subconsious headaches from hearing it all day and all night long. Seriously. There is constant honking of horns. There are motors revving. And about every four or five hours we hear some sort of animal in shear pain. And my heart breaks. And my mind goes crazy.

We see fires burning, some lights flickering, crowds of people gathering, mack trucks racing to and fro with no mind for who or what is in their way. On a clear day we can see all the way to the ocean. We can see the landing strip at the airport. We can see mountain after mountain after mountain and wish we could name them all, but it's almost impossible. We see pigs, goats, cows, chickens, horses, and cats with ropes around their necks. Tied to a tree. Or led down the street. 

One of the most interesting things is to see a herd of cows (I saw 17 one time) being led down to Petionville by one man. He whipps them all into shape and controls their every move. It's fascinating. Just the other day I first heard a pig, then as I looked out the window realized he was laying on his side on the back of a moto. I'm quite certain it weighs more than I do. Every time the moto his a bump, the pig squeeled. And it wasn't in delight. I'm quite sure he was for a feast. He was very large. And I'm quite sure more than one of his ribs were broken during transport.

Most of you know that we moved to a new apartment. The invertor system never worked in the old place even though it was part of the agreement. So, we had no choice. We are paying more in rent, but we have never been without electric. The lighting is terrible, but it's better than nothing. I imagine the lightbulbs are less than 20 watt. There's an upstairs and a downstairs. Upstairs is our bedroom with a king sized bed in it. It doesn't have a box spring on it. That took some getting used to for my back. But, I can't complain now. I'm over it. But, the interesting thing about the lack of box springs, I think, is that it leaves the mattress bare without protection. The only reason that we realized this is because it literally feels like the air conditioner is pushing up through the mattress. And it's about 10-15 degrees cooler up here in this new apartment. 

Literally, last night was the very first night I slept without socks on. I'm not kidding. Every night for the first 29 days I wore more than one layer of everything! The first 10 days I shivered most nights away and didn't think I could even count it a night's rest.

The living room has a nice sized flat screen tv provided with no cable. But, we brought our Apple TV so, we could watch a movie in a perfect world with good wi-fi, but our wi-fi has been lacking here. And, I know I've complained before about the four most uncomforatble chairs from 1972. I'm not joking. We were so spoiled in our old apartment with a nice comfortable couch and love seat to fight over.

But, it was only this evening that I felt like in all my complaining I could have been bringing to you prayer requests. And maybe the world would be a different place. Because I know prayer changes things and I'm at fault for not letting you know what the people on this mountain need. The every day needs. For that I am sorry.

Tonight we re-cooked pasta that had been stored in a ziploc bag in the fridge (that works when city electric is on only and that's not dependable...). You remember that part, right? We re-cooked pasta in our coffee pot because all three of our cooking pots are dirty in the sink. We ran out of water a week ago. Told the landlord. And he told us when the city power is on - they will run the pumps to bring up water to our apartment. It came on. They pumped it. And then couple days ago it ran out again. So, he told us because it's dry season he would have to order a water truck. Then we got water and lost it again. This morning he finally figured out that there's a leak somewhere in the grand system. So, we've realized what it is to live without water in a nice apartment with lights. We can't turn on faucets and believe we'll see water. We can't wash our hands, flush toilets, brush our teeth, wash dishes, etc. at our discretion. We have to live at the mercy of the "water system". It's rather inconvenient. And unsettling. I don't like having dirty dishes sitting in the sink. And I don't like watching our drinking water supply slowly dwindle away. They are supposed to have it fixed by Monday.

Another perk of our new living space was to be the electric washing machine and dryer. We figured we'd be living high and mighty not having to get them washed by hand and dry on a roof any longer. But, the first weekend we moved in - you guessed it, the washing machine broke. It's been being repaired and due to return by "Monday" for the past 30 days.

Quite sure I've lost most of you by now, and that's really okay. I'm thankful for the handful that are still hanging on through this long post. Tonight, I'm exhausted and aching and learning to live on less as I struggle with the want to have more. Why is that such a natural human tendancy? Why do I even think I need more? I have everything I actually need at the moment. We have shelter over our heads. We have water in a culligan jug. We have food in the cabinets and money in our pockets. I have a husband to serve side by side with that is not only the love of my life, but my very best friend. We have the blessed opportunity to serve our Lord together on this foreign soil as we risk the ocean together. There's no place we'd rather be than serving Him together. We have three gifts of children who are serving Him also in their every day lives and make us very proud.  

All the while, within the distance that I could throw a baseball are families that do not even have faucets to see water flow out of. The do not have light switches, nor own lightbulbs. They have roofs to their houses that are held down with rocks and bricks. They have windows without glass. They wake up when the sun comes up, farm their land, pray for rain, do the best they can to put one meal on the table (if they're fortunate enough to have one) and go to sleep when the sun goes down. They work hard to pay to send their children to school because the government doesn't provide much in regards to education. And they only have water when God sends the rain. They store it in cisterns and chatos and use it sparingly. Laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, living depends on water. And water is scarse these days in the mountains. Would you join us to pray for rain in these villages that we can see from our window? Would you pray for blessings on the crops? Would you pray God would multiply their efforts? Would you pray that they would continue to recognize that it's only from the Creator that they are truly blessed? Would you pray for those who don't know Him? For those who have not heard the name of Jesus? Would you pray that they would hear soon and very soon. And would you pray that we would keep our eyes on Him and that I would be able to sort out my heart's chaos and put it into words that could be understood? Would you pray that we would through our frustrations come to know Him more. "Because all of life comes down to just one thing... it's to know You, oh Jesus, and make Him known."