And the Tears Fell (Forty two days in)

Forty two days on the ground and seventy three to go. Today the tears fell long and hard for the first time. The emotions have been building and building in my heart and today they finally reached the bubbling over point. I couldn't stop them from gushing down my cheeks. I felt so bad for Peterson as as he greeted us near the tap-tap station for a quick "market trip" this morning. He literally thought that I was hurt or someone in my family had been hurt. (Come on people… 42 days! I could be congratulated. That’s a long time! I’m sure some of you lost bets on that one.)

 Yesterday, Chris went on an overnight trip for ministry meetings to Jacmel and Grand Goave near the shore. It was the girls first night at home without him. We woke up to no power again… for the 46th straight hour. So, we loaded up our devices and took them to our missionary friends’ home to get some charge. Then we headed to our private Kreyole lessons with Erin (from Godet). She comes to our house one day a week and we feed her lunch. Since we were out of town last week we asked if we could have two days this week. So, we offered to buy her lunch at the BHM. We were running a little late, but laughed about it saying, “well, we’re on Haiti time anyhow.” and then got a text from Erin that she was running late, too. That’s one of the best things about being here. Haiti time. Everyone’s on it. No one is uptight about timing. It’s a different world than what we lived with in the US. Very different. I haven’t had any stress headaches or gotten uptight about scheduling for the most part - just gone with the flow.

 We ran into Simon and then Mathieu (Blessings Productions) and Trey and Chelsea and baby Colby and chatted for a bit. Erin was there and we grabbed lunch and scarfed it down. (Remember the BHM has been closed for 2 weeks and we’ve DEARLY missed it and the good food we can get there.) Erin pulled out her white board and wrote sentences for us and new vocabulary words. It was a great time of learning and before we knew it it was 3:45. We ran down to pick up our charging devices and then Erin walked us home. She came in and we enjoyed some hot tea and played a couple card games and banana grams. We then ate pbjs for dinner and watched the sun disappear along with all the light we had available. We were face timing Rachael for a good while and then Thomas and fam. We had to use our cellphones flashlights to light us enough to even be seen on FaceTime on our iPad. When we got done face timing Brynna talked me into playing her new card game online with our friend that we met on the Grand Goave team, Doug. Before we even yawned we realized it was 11:35 and we were probably the only ones awake on this mountain! Electric came on around 11:40 and then was gone by 2:17 when I woke up in the night to use the restroom. Of course, I didn’t sleep well without Chris, but I slept better than I expected. Brynna said it was the best night sleep yet as she slept in his spot. This morning we awoke and prepared to head out to meet Peterson for a quick market trip before heading up to Godet to visit with the kids we’ve missed so much. (He was heading up to Godet to refill the propane and water supplies.) I read our verse for the day as we were about to walk out the door:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: 

just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, 

if you have love for one another." 

John 13:34-35 

 As we walked down to the gate I was singing that song from children's church in my head, "this is my commandment that you love one another, that your joy may be full." We couldn't find Jerrard anywhere to let us out the gate. So, we were debating on what to do. I called Joseph, our landlord's son's phone, but he didn't answer. We knew it would be a quick trip to the market, but hated to leave it unlocked. As we exited our gate Brynna and I both kinda stepped back hesitating as we could hear some loud, anger-filled words blaring from a man's mouth to the left of us. Running through my mind: "Would we be in danger? What in the world was he saying?" As we swiftly crossed the street we could see the ladies in front of us and all around us looking back to see what the commotion was. They seemed to be pretty concerned, but not enough to run or stop and help solve the situation. We were walking ahead of the man who was so angry and we seemed to be just far enough ahead to not be able to lay eyes on him. By the time we passed the water/gas/coca store we had shaken off the threat from our minds. We were walking at a pretty good pace. I was worried because we left our gate unlocked and worried because I didn't pinpoint the night before a meeting place with Peterson. So, I pulled my phone out and called him. He said to meet at the tap-tap station. So, as we passed the car wash I was making a fresh list of what we needed to purchase. At the same time, I was also trying to make some sense in my mind of why there were so many dogs in Haiti and why the Haitians don't love them like we Americans do. There was a dog walking alongside us wagging his tail. Probably one I've tried to whisper love to along the road many a time. When we were in Grand Goave last week we loved hanging out with Boo. We told him every day how fortunate he was, how unusual it was for dogs to get any respect let alone any food, love or affection in Haiti. I don't think he could completely understand what we were trying to tell him. At the job site there were two teeny tiny chihuahua Haitian dogs that couldNOT have weighed 3 lbs each. They were a pitiful sight. Absolutely could have been on those commercials for neglected animals. Dogs in Haiti are running the streets all day and all night searching for ANY piece of food and ANY drop of water possible. During the day I've seen moto drivers and auto drivers swerve or honk to scare the dogs out of their minds. I've even tried to befriend our guard dogs here at the apartment. Their names are Romeo and Juliette and they don't know how to play or take a compliment or receive any affection from us. Partly, I'm glad because they keep watch day and night, but partly, I'd just like to tell them that they are loved and wanted.

Be glad you can't see the backside of this puppy.
It was sheer bones and very incredibly sad.
God, have mercy on these little bones!

Just then a man who was walking about 10 feet ahead of us jerked around suddenly and stomped HARD on the dog's foot that was walking on the road. The dog yelped, cried out, then whined and limped off to the side. Well, that was all I could take. I wanted to bust that man up the side of the head with my fist and then give him my other fist and scream at him! There was absolutely no purpose in him doing that. The dog was just walking along minding it's own business.

Then my mind began to swirl together all these thoughts, feelings and even that song, "this is my commandment that you love one another" and my heart began to overflow with emotions. And my heart and my mind came to a huge crescendo. I was so angry. I was so sad. I was so broken. I was livid. But, what good would that do to sling my whole entire body weight into my fist upside that man's head?! It definitely wouldn't prove that I was His disciple as in the verse of the day. It would not display His love. That was not the way. The people knew us when we walked down the street. We were the missionaries. The blan who came to bring Good News and share hope for eternity. I'm sure from my neck up I looked as red as a tomato. At some point Brynna noticed Peterson on down the street and pointed me towards him. I tried to stop the tears, but they were involuntary tears. I couldn't dry them up even after Peterson reached out and grabbed my hands and stared deep into my soul to try to figure out who had been hurt in our family. I apologized to him for being so emotional, but I'd held it in for so long. He seemed to understand where I was coming from and was so relieved that I wasn't hurt or anyone in my family.

It's Friday night. The lights are ON! We are all back together and going to play some mexican trains. Hoping the water in the hot water tank will be ready in a couple hours for us to take showers before bed. I'm not sure when I last showered... I know it's been a good while since I shaved my legs... Melanie JUST sent me this picture that Blake took at Brynna's birthday party. Looks like SOMEone's in need of a good leg shaving!! But, it's not really me! It's Chris' legs with my skirt. LOL!!

Chester, the dog and my legs that areNOT that... bad.

Talking about shaving legs...

Tomorrow we are invited to a sweet little girls' jungle birthday party at precisely 6:45 PM. We have one little gift, but wish we could find more for her. There wasn't much to be had at the market today. She can be seen standing beside Brynna as she opened her birthday gifts last week. Her name is Blake. Isn't she precious? Would you pray with us for her and her family as they celebrate her birthday this weekend and continue to serve the Lord here in Haiti.

P.S. And then there's that other little tune that goes, "they'll know we are Christian by our love, by our love. They'll know we are Christians by our love." Please continue to pray for our safety and for our walk. Pray that our walk would match our talk. It would have been very easy for me to destroy any credibility we had today. Pray that we always shine His light, His love. Pray that we continue to fall deeper in love with Him and Haiti.